"I should never have been what I am, but for you. Chapter XVII THE CHANGE IN “ALCIDE” “By-the-bye,” his neighbour asked him languidly, “who is our hostess?” “Usually known, I believe, as Lady Ferringhall,” Ennison answered, “unless I have mixed up my engagement list and come to the wrong house. ToC Tyburn was now at hand. I know I am undeserving of your bounty; but if I were to tell you what hardships I have undergone—to what frightful extremities I have been reduced—and to what infamy I have submitted, to earn a scanty subsistence for this child's sake, —if you could feel what it is to stand alone in the world as I do, bereft of all who have ever loved me, and shunned by all who have ever known me, except the worthless and the wretched,—if you knew (and Heaven grant you may be spared the knowledge!) how much affliction sharpens love, and how much more dear to me my child has become for every sacrifice I have made for him,—if you were told all this, you would, I am sure, pity rather than reproach me, because I cannot at once consent to a separation, which I feel would break my heart. Making up a similar story to that which he had told the old woman, he said he wanted to purchase a hammer and a file. The house was full of aunts, uncles, and cousins meandering about, stuffed until their seams and zippers were bursting. Seeing Capes from day to day made a bright eventfulness that hampered her in the course she had resolved to follow. I can wield a quarterstaff as well as a prize-fighter, and have beaten Figg himself at the broadsword. "I was merely about to observe that I am in possession of her secret. "Is she alive?" "She is not," replied Trenchard, overcome by conflicting emotions, and unable to endure the boy's agonized look.
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